Adventures in Germany–An Interview With My Son
24 Monday Jun 2013
Written by susanfinlay
I wanted to try something a little different today. My son, Scott Finlay, is a software developer who moved from the U.S. to Germany almost a year ago. I asked him if he would talk with me about his adventures, and he said he would.
Hi, Scott! Welcome to Susan Finlay Writes blog site. Can you tell us a bit about your decision to move to Germany?
My girlfriend is German (living in Germany) and was still finishing her last year of medical school.
What was the most difficult part of making the move? Is there anything you would do differently now that you’ve been through it all?
Well there’s the same problems you probably get from any long-distance move: a lot of contracts to cancel, new contracts to start, addresses to update, expenses, planning, etc. I’m not sure there’s really so much that I could have done to make it easier.
One major inconvenience though was getting money from my bank accounts to Germany since I didn’t yet have a German account, and the US bank accounts don’t like to do remote transfers. I had to go to the bank and get some paperwork and bring it with me to Germany and once I had my account, I filled out the papers, then mailed it back to the US, then they mailed me a confirmation code, and then I had to call them and provide the code.
You’ve noticed a lot of cultural differences between Germany and the U.S. Can you tell us about some of them?
There aren’t very many major differences, but there’s a lot of little things. I’m still somewhat in the ‘culture-shock’ phase, so most of the differences I point out are more on the negative side. I’ll just list a few:
– No air conditioners. And because of that there’s the term “hitzefrei” which is where people (usually school children) get to go home early due to heat.
– I see a lot more drinking in public. Young people also seem to smoke more. The drinking age here is 16, too, so you see a lot of drunken teenagers.
– People really like ice cream. In the summer there’s an “ice dealer” at nearly every corner and they sell home-made Italian-style ice cream with lots of different flavors (and sometimes weird, novelty stuff like mustard or pizza flavor).
– People tend to be less modest about nudity and they refer to Americans as being ‘prude’.
– In Bavaria people are very Catholic, so there are a lot of Catholic traditions. For example, the church sends kids every winter to write an equation in chalk over people’s doorways which should protect them for the next year. There’s also a lot of Christian holidays here which we don’t have (or don’t really celebrate at least) in the US.
– People are kind of rude. Waiters and waitresses and people working in stores and customer service people tend to be not very polite and they don’t really try to ensure that the customer is happy and satisfied. But people here often say they don’t like the customer service in the US because they say it seems fake.
– Things are really expensive, especially eating out. As a simple example, something at McDonalds in the US that would be about $5 would be here about 6 Euros (and a Euro is about $1.25). Yet people don’t generally earn more here. A drink typically costs about 3 Euros and there’s no free refills at restaurants (except sometimes at places like Ikea or Subway).
– Stores often charge money (or put out a donation plate expecting you to pay) to use the bathroom.
– I was told to expect the workplace to be much more strict and formal than in the US, but that wasn’t the case for me. It was actually less formal than where I worked in America. Maybe it is more formal here, but not in engineering fields it seems.
– Toilets are usually inside the wall and the bowl sticks out and they have a big button to flush them. And for some reason they tend to put the bathroom light switch outside of the bathroom in houses and apartments.
– They make buildings out of stone/concrete instead of wood usually.
– There’s a lot more effort to save energy and to recycle. For example, it seems in the hallways of most buildings the lights turn off automatically after a couple of minutes. And they have something called “Pfand” which is an extra 15-25 cents you have to pay when you buy carbonated drinks and then you have to bring the bottle back to the store to get that money back (to force you to recycle it instead of just throwing it away).
Have you had any humorous experiences or misunderstandings in Germany?
Nothing that I can think of off the top of my head.
Do you have any language barriers? Can you work in Germany with limited knowledge of the language?
I haven’t really had much problem with that so far. Pretty much everyone under about 35 here speaks English (and likes the opportunity to practice their English). Unfortunately, the flip-side to that is that it makes it pretty hard for me to practice my German because, for example, when I go to a restaurant and order in German (and correctly, too, according to my girlfriend), they often notice my accent and respond in English.
You told me about a demonstration near your apartment building that involved police. Can you tell us about it? Was it scary?
There was a demonstration/parade thing from the NDP (National Democratic Party) which is the modern day Nazi party. We saw that there were tons of police cars and officers just down the street from our apartment so we went to see what it was and they told us the NDP demonstration was coming through there and they had blocked off the entire street and forced everyone there to move their cars (which led to parking tickets for a lot of unlucky people who may not have known about it ahead of time).
When we heard what it was we went back to the apartment building and pulled some pieces of cardboard out of the dumpster and wrote some things like “Pro Tolerance” and “Anti Nazi” and then went back over to the blocked off street and held up our signs as they came by. It was a pretty pathetic demonstration, though, because there were only about 15-20 NDP people and about 40-50 cops (many of whom looked very glad to see us there with our signs).
One thing that was pretty dumb about it was that we saw a man with his little kid who were forced to stand and wait for the parade to clear by before they were allowed to go back to their home which was along the street that was blocked off.
The driving laws are quite different from the U.S. from what I hear. Have you seen many accidents on the autobahns due to the high speeds?
I haven’t really noticed many accidents, but the drivers are pretty crazy in the Munich area. The streets within the city are extremely narrow and there’s always cars parked on both sides of the road, yet the people drive really fast. And if you slow down for any reason such as to park or to wait for a person crossing the street the drivers get mad and start honking.
On the autobahn people drive often more than 200 kph (125 mph). And sometimes I’ll even see a motorcycle speed past us when we’re going at that speed.
You spent Christmas at the Bodensee near the Austrian and Switzerland borders. What did you do there? Were the holiday traditions different?
We visited a lot of little villages and visited Schloß Neuschwanstein. The holiday traditions weren’t so different, but apparently it’s tradition on Christmas and New Years to dress up very formally. Also, in the US we generally celebrate on the 25th and call that Christmas Day, but in Germany the main holiday is the night of the 24th. Also, there’s a kind of mushroom that’s red with white spots and that’s apparently a Christmas decoration.
The fireworks on New Years Eve were pretty spectacular, too. Even just in this tiny village of Isny there was about 30 minutes straight of fireworks. When we got back to Munich there was trash everywhere (used fireworks and streamers and confetti).
You’ve toured some castles in Germany. Do you have a favorite? Did anything unusual happen on any of your tours?
We saw a lot of what I refer to as the “Schloßy” castles (because a Schloß is a more luxurious, peacetime castle), and a few “Burgy” castles (because a Burg is a more barren, wartime castle). I personally find the Burgy ones much more interesting. They’re generally older and have a lot of interesting history with them. One interesting detail I noticed in the older castles is that the doorways are all very short because people used to be much shorter in medieval times.
My favorite castle is the Burg Kufstein in Austria. It’s a pretty cool looking castle, and we always passed it on the way to Innsbruck and decided to stop and take a look. It’s up on a small cliff in the middle of the city and the castle is integrated into the rock. In the beginning we took the elevator up to the castle and looked at the main towers which have a lot of historical information about the castle which was pretty interesting, but not really spectacular. Then, since it was a really nice sunny day we decided to walk back down instead of taking the elevator and we discovered that there was a ton of stuff still to see in the castle. There was a giant well that went so far down that you could barely see the bottom even though it was lit, and there was a cool network of underground tunnels which were so old that there were cave formations on them and all sorts of moss and lichen. There were also some nice gardens in the castle with apple trees and flowers.
What is the public transportation like in Germany?
They have a really nice network of public transportation, but in my experience the buses come at totally random times. The subways and trams are pretty reliable, though. I was kind of surprised, though, to find that the public transportation costs more than it did for me in the US. I had assumed it would be cheaper since the government wants people to drive less. The train network is pretty nice, too, but it actually costs more to take a train a somewhat long-distance than an airplane.
Have you had a chance to visit any other countries since you’ve been there?
Only German-speaking places so far, which aren’t so different from each other. I’ve been to Salzburg and Innsbruck, Austria along with a few smaller cities between Munich and Innsbruck. I’ve seen a couple of small Swiss cities near the border. I visited Liechtenstein for a couple of hours (it’s a pretty tiny country; the whole country has fewer people than the university I attended). I also went to a couple of cities in Südtirol (South Tirol) which is in the northern part of Italy (but it’s called South Tirol and people mostly speak German because it used to be part of Austria in the state of Tirol).
Thanks, Scott!
17 Comments
Jane Risdon said:
June 24, 2013 at 11:57 am
Hello Scott, glad you are surviving Germany. It must be a culture shock for an American as there are many differences I know.
I lived there in the late 1950’s and went to school there (army school) and again in 1968-70 and worked there. German’s are more abrupt than the English and as we English appear to apologise for breathing at every twist and turn and say please and thank you too much according to both Germans and Americans I know, the German way must seem very rude – even to Americans – who in my experience don’t go in for too much in the way of unnecessary politeness. Just differences in use of language and expression I have found having lived in the USA too, and having got American relations who think we are far too polite!
I am also a lapsed Catholic and don’t recognise the activity you describe – must be peculiar to Germany. I do know that Germans don’t queue for anything (my experience there and over here in UK too), and yes they drive like maniacs on the Autobahn but have you ever driven on a British motorway? However I have found that the Belgians and Italians are terrifying drivers and you haven’t lived until you’ve had a taxi ride in Taiwan!
The castles are beautiful and I recall visiting an area where The Brothers Grimm came from (forgotten name for now) and there were 7 hills with 7 castles built for 7 warring brothers – fairytale castles and so beautifully set in lush green forests and woodland. I might add that we were on a trip to the Oktober Fest and if we saw any other castles the memory evades me – too much free wine and schnapps.
The village where we were based the second time in Germany was flooded by the Dambusters in WW2 and so there was a lot of anti-British feeling still and the building which housed our Officer’s Mess was the former home of Goering and where he used to give his speeches so when you mention the Nazi presence still – I am aware of it as there was a guy Franz someone or other who used to tour round and give Nazi speeches (1968) in a glass bullet proof box….he used to bring huge crowds.
When I was first over there in the 1950’s the Americans were based with us and I had many little friends who introduced me to all sorts of amazing foods and games kids played back in the USA – so exchanges of culture is, I think, a really good thing.
I have lots of wonderful German friends from back then who were taught English at Kindergarten and whose English is brilliant and they wanted to test it on me all the time – and still do – but I had to work in a British Army base with German civilian staff who refused to speak English to me….so I became a fast learner. I can now write the instructions for stripping down a Chieftain or Centurion Tank, armed scout car (Saracen) and 88mm guns without any problem in both English and German!!
Growing up in England in the 1950’s we recycled a lot. Taking back bottles to shops and pubs after use is nothing new. We used to take Coke, Lemonade and Beer bottles back and get 1p on each one returned. It is a great idea.
I am sure you will settle in and begin having lots of fun – is is a bit of a change from the USA (England is closer in culture in many ways), and there is so much to see – beautiful country. I hope you have a wonderful life there and do let us know how you get on.
Susan, thanks for sharing your Son’s experiences, brought back many memories for me. Good luck to him in his new life. There is a lot to adjust to, but it is fun experiencing it all.
Susan Finlay said:
June 24, 2013 at 12:02 pm
Thanks, Jane! I really enjoyed hearing of your experiences in Germany, too. You are a fascinating person.
Jane Risdon said:
June 24, 2013 at 12:11 pm
LOL Susan, thanks and all in my own lunch-time!! My husband’s band had many experiences in Germany on tour and working on USAF bases which I should tell you about one day….it is good to travel, broaden your horizons and to realise that wherever you go, anywhere in the world, everyone is the same deep down. It helps. 🙂
Maria Constantine said:
June 24, 2013 at 12:58 pm
Thanks so much for sharing your experiences, Scott – and thanks too Susan for the post. I lived in Germany for 5 years and taught English. It brought back loads of memories and I can relate to a lot of what Scott refers to.
Susan Finlay said:
June 24, 2013 at 1:03 pm
Thanks, Maria!
Diane said:
June 24, 2013 at 1:15 pm
We have visited Germany a few times and like it very much. Having lived “abroad” quite a lot and having lived abroad with Americans I can see so much of what they felt reflected in what Scott has said – especially about the rudeness of waiters and the more relaxed attitude to nudity etc.
I was amused to read about the banking problems as we had a similar experience when we first bought our French place, we took quite a lot of our furniture from the house in UK but ditched the bed as it was old. The delay with the money transfer meant that we didn’t have enough money to buy a new bed and were sleeping on the floor for a while. We visited the bank every day and of course became quite friendly with the clerk. In the end he found out what our situation was and loaned us money from his savings account to buy a bed – now that is wonderful isn’t it.
I do hope that you settle down in Germany Scott and enjoy living in Europe. Thanks for an unusual interview Susan.
Susan Finlay said:
June 24, 2013 at 1:46 pm
Thanks, Diane. Very interesting.
Susan Wingate said:
June 24, 2013 at 4:30 pm
I bet you miss your son, terribly, Susan. I hope he can return to the States soon.
Susan Finlay said:
June 24, 2013 at 4:45 pm
Thanks, Susan. We do miss him. We hope he and his girlfriend can come visit us again. We also hope to visit them.
Brenda Hyslip said:
June 24, 2013 at 5:21 pm
Oh Scott if you get a chance visit Poland. My husband and I just came back from Krakau since I was born in Poland. Also try to visit the east side of Germany if you canto. You will be amazed at the difference even so the wall came down so many years ago. I made the trip to get some answers so I can finish the novel I am writing on. I speak fluent German but you are right everyone wants to talk English.
Susan Finlay said:
June 24, 2013 at 5:27 pm
His grandmother was a little girl during WWII. Her family lived in East Sudetenland near the Poland border. He should visit that area, too.
bennettonbooks said:
June 24, 2013 at 10:17 pm
Enjoyed reading your son’s observations. I visited Bavaria in 1970 and 2000, and concur on most points. I was especially furious no one would engage with me in German! I tried my hardest, I really did.
About the spotted mushroom ornament: yes, my mother has one that is over fifty years old. It has a clip at the bottom so you can perch it atop a branch on your Christmas tree. I found some in the US several years ago and bought 5. My husband has managed to break *three* of them since.
I like how he divides the castles and wish I’d known that distinction in 2000. I asked to see castles, and ended up being taken to palaces.
I hope he’s able to visit East Sudetenland. We traveled to Kaliningrad in 2000 and stood on my grandparents’ farm. The drive from West Germany to East Germany to Poland is particularly interesting.
Susan Finlay said:
June 24, 2013 at 10:28 pm
Thanks, Audrey. I’d love to hear more about your trip to East Germany and Poland.
Marlene Lee said:
June 24, 2013 at 10:59 pm
Very good interview, Susan and Scott. Since I know your daughter, Samantha, I hope to meet Scott some day. Your family is tops.
Susan Finlay said:
June 24, 2013 at 11:15 pm
Thanks, Marlene!
Sara Stinson said:
June 27, 2013 at 6:55 pm
I enjoyed the interview. Back in 2008-2009 a girl from Germany came over and stayed for one year. Her English was great. One difference she saw was in the schools…for girls at least. They go through grade 13. Not all students get the opportunity to go to college. She said her school was very strict. She felt our schools wasted a lot of time. She told me one of their assignments in her English class was to write a 25 typed paper on Obama’s Care Package. I can not imagine having to write a paper in Spanish!
Susan Finlay said:
June 27, 2013 at 6:57 pm
Very interesting, Sara. Thanks!